Eccentricity and Selfishness
"Parents" means pair.
So there is the first problem. Every person has an opinion on everything. Even if it is expressed as 'no opinion' it is still an opinion, not to have an opinion.
People have different opinions on the same thing. Parents however must have consolidated opinions on raising children.
Differing opinions must be resolved into agreed unanimity, not compromise. And it doesn't really matter which original opinion (or another one) becomes the agreed dual opinion.
Ironically, to resolve that question external information and advice should be sought. But after the resolution, external opinions do not matter, and should then be ignored. The parents' decision is that of a rugby referee: final, binding and unappealable.
So parents must also resolve their joint approach to child rearing on the basis of what is good for the kid, permitting eccentricity on their own behalf, but not selfishness.
That said, hard decisions must be made and imposed. Tough love. Imposed requirements of respectful conduct.
The best way to demonstrate that respectful conduct, and the limits of entitled eccentricity over unacceptable selfishness, if for the parents to behave toward each other and the child as they want the child to learn to behave, him or her self.
Erik Satie, composer, for example, had some eccentricities in his later life. None of which appear to have harmed children.
Erik had 7 suits. All identical and silver. He had no others.
He only ate white food during the last 10 years. White bread, chicken, cauliflower. The white of eggs.
He had 2 white grand pianos in his house. the 2nd resting and placed on top of the first. Asked "Why do you have 2 grand pianos" he replied "I'm a composer and need to compose music using a piano". Further "but what is the 2nd one for". He replied: "to receive correspondence".
So, as you can see, the role and duties of parents is not easy. But don't give up. Erik had parents.
PK 9.6.19
So there is the first problem. Every person has an opinion on everything. Even if it is expressed as 'no opinion' it is still an opinion, not to have an opinion.
People have different opinions on the same thing. Parents however must have consolidated opinions on raising children.
Differing opinions must be resolved into agreed unanimity, not compromise. And it doesn't really matter which original opinion (or another one) becomes the agreed dual opinion.
Ironically, to resolve that question external information and advice should be sought. But after the resolution, external opinions do not matter, and should then be ignored. The parents' decision is that of a rugby referee: final, binding and unappealable.
So parents must also resolve their joint approach to child rearing on the basis of what is good for the kid, permitting eccentricity on their own behalf, but not selfishness.
That said, hard decisions must be made and imposed. Tough love. Imposed requirements of respectful conduct.
The best way to demonstrate that respectful conduct, and the limits of entitled eccentricity over unacceptable selfishness, if for the parents to behave toward each other and the child as they want the child to learn to behave, him or her self.
Erik Satie, composer, for example, had some eccentricities in his later life. None of which appear to have harmed children.
Erik had 7 suits. All identical and silver. He had no others.
He only ate white food during the last 10 years. White bread, chicken, cauliflower. The white of eggs.
He had 2 white grand pianos in his house. the 2nd resting and placed on top of the first. Asked "Why do you have 2 grand pianos" he replied "I'm a composer and need to compose music using a piano". Further "but what is the 2nd one for". He replied: "to receive correspondence".
So, as you can see, the role and duties of parents is not easy. But don't give up. Erik had parents.
PK 9.6.19
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